Stepping beyond Fate and into your Destiny.
“In refusing fate, we also deny destiny.” Michael MeadeWhat does this mean? To answer that question I think you begin my looking to see where in your life you are refusing (resisting) your fate. What part of yourself or your life, are you struggling to fully embrace? Remember the post Accept—then act? Where Eckhart Tolle tells us to “Accept - then act. Whatever the present moment contains, accept it as if you had chosen it… This will miraculously transform your whole life.” I believe these are related. Where we resist, what our life is bringing us: a downturn in donations, a decrease in sales, a health issue, a marriage gone sour, that is where we wrestle with reality rather than accepting it, AND that is where we may inadvertently be turning away from our destiny (that which our soul most longs for). (Please note, that in a struggle between our own will and reality...she (reality) wins, "but only 100% of the time." Byron Katie.)I propose that when we do this, "resist what is" we deny that deep call at the core of our being, which is our destiny. The health issue, the business issue, the bad marriage might be the very key that unlocks my next move toward my destiny, if I can but first accept it as here. AND then act as if I trust it, as if I had a strange faith in this thing, that I didn’t ask for or think I wanted. Personally, I do this by saying to myself and that reality I do not like, something on the order of :
“'Sh... I don’t understand why you are here and I sure don’t want you.... BUT I am going to trust you and meet you as ally and not enemy.' I am truly curious about this unasked for reality that now presents itself to me. I am going to wonder what hidden treasures it might contain. (By the way, this is easier as I get older because I can look back on so many things I wanted but in actuality I was mistaken.)”
And in doing this, I shift my internal attitude and my energy, so that a more creative and innovative way to be with (this consciously unasked for reality) can open for me.
Look, I know this isn't easy. I am as stubborn and willful as anyone I know. BUT I also know this: life rarely brings me the great beauties I have heretofore enjoyed based on anything I have planned or willed into being. The treasures of my life have come in strange packages indeed. And you might look back on your own life and see if that isn't true for you as well.
Are you wondering "How are fate and destiny intertwined? " This is one of my favorite conversations and they both have seemed related but difficult to pin down. My own views on these two keep evolving. Currently, I think fate is sort of like the status quo or automatic pilot. It is how we live when we are not truly conscious or reflective about our choices and actions. When we never question, if we are in fact doing what we came "factory loaded" for. So, when I say things to myself like, "I have to go to XYZ because her feelings will be hurt or because they expect me to", this is a place where I am not actually consulting my own wise self to find out what is truly called for at this moment. It is a bit like when I react or blindly follow my DNA or my wiring. It is my reactive state. Fate is sort of like "automatic pilot". I think it is akin to the unexamined life.I do believe that certain events (but by no means all) of each life are fated. In my life, I think my marriage was and my divorce. But what exactly is the difference between fate and destiny?I think destiny is more like calling. I remember hearing Jungian author James Hollis talk about how in the middle of his life, he changed course and direction and went to Switzerland to study at the Jung Institute and become a Jungian analyst. He is one of the most popular Jungian authors and all of his books came later in his life. Had he stayed in his former profession and here in the states, his "destiny" might not have appeared and instead he would have simply lived out his fate.I would love to hear your ideas on this too. And I will keep blogging on it as it is one of my deep interests.PS: By the way, I think it is no small thing to step beyond fate and into your destiny! But that is another post.