Maintaining order rather than correcting disorder is the ultimate principle of wisdom. Nei Jing
So, how does one do this? What does this look like in action? Here is an exercise to test drive this wisdom. (I believe Nei Jing is a Chinese text written in 2nd century BC)1. Bring to mind a situation that is disturbing you for any reason. Then, pause, take 3 deep breaths and ask yourself, what most deeply matters to me here, or how can I use this situation as leverage to create what I most love in my life and work?Immediately you are in a different place. You are not in "problem focus" or "disorder focus" but you are in possibility focus or emergent order focus, or as The Power of TED would say "Creator mode". This shift in your thinking and feeling creates the space for you to go onto the 2nd step.2. Next, ask yourself, "what can you be deeply grateful for right now, in this situation that is troubling you?" I know! Crazy! But do it. And then ask yourself "What is working? Where is there harmony already present? How might this thing you don't want...actually be carrying within it the seeds for the order, harmony and well-being you do want?" This of course is a challenging step, but stay with it, you will surprise yourself.3. Now from this place, from this deep well of gratitude and wisdom, choose your actions. Your choices are much more likely to be proactive instead of reactive. You are more likely to experience a sense of peace and well-being as compared with the feeling you get when you get to take something off the list! Problem solving/correcting disorder mode is taking stuff off the list. It may feel good in the moment, but often it comes from a place that is surface or reactive it will be back on the list in no time at all. When that happens it is easy to end up feeling defeated and even victimized by the situation and that tempts you to correct disorder (problem focus) which leads to the same failed results. But only over and over again! Einstein once said: "You can't solve a problem at the same level of thinking that created it." The choice to maintain order, or said another way, to focus on emergent order or what you are trying to create, is the new level of thinking Einstein was talking aboutTry it and see what happens!
Vote your desires not your fears.
What happens if we each tried actually trusting that whatever happens we will all move forward? What happens if we vote based on our deepest desires not our fears? That won't be easy as both campaigns have painted their opponents winning the presidency as a fearful thing. But because the adds did/do that doesn't mean you and I have to. So if you haven't voted yet, I invite you to get quiet and locate your primary values. Make a list of your top 5. Mine looks like this:
- Inclusion ... no one left our or behind.
- Dignity of meaningful worthwhile work.
- Empathy/compassion but more for how it helps the giver. Without compassion, I seem to be filled with fear.
- Passion/wholeheartedness/Desire
- Creativity/innovation/discovery/originality
Not sure that they are in order. Whatever your list, take the time to locate your top values and then look at both candidates for President and all the candidates running for office and ask yourself this question:Whose life best demonstrates my top values? And whose life has best demonstrated these values over his/her lifetime?Your choices will not only be clear, but you will have owned your choices in a different way. Neither Obama or Romney are perfect men or leaders. Far from it, no human is perfect. Now you won't expect them to "do what you want or what you would do if you were in their shoes". And when we focus on leadership in that way, we can't help but focus on problems and end up feeling disappointed and even anxious. Instead why not focus on how they are living the values that their lives have already demonstrated and that you value. That question takes you out of critical right/wrong thinking. It takes you out of Problem Focus and puts you in TED where TED stands for The Empowerment Dynamic. AND that my friends makes all the difference in the quality of your life.By the way, this doesn't mean you never recognize mistakes nor does it make you Pollyanna. Leaders are human. They aren't always true to their values. But it is easier to call someone to their greatness when they go afield of it, by singing the song that lives in their hearts (values) than it is by criticism. By the way, this works really well with oneself! :lol:So today truly celebrate what this great country makes possible...the right to vote based on our unique values. To stand for what matters to you. And remember, you can stand FOR something without having to be AGAINST anything or anyone!
Accept - Then Act
“Accept—then act. Whatever the present moment contains, accept it as if you had chosen it… This will miraculously transform your whole life.” Eckhart TolleTolle is right. If I choose something, then I trust that it is somehow a benefit for me, even if only in the long term. If I choose something, I don’t waste time and energy wishing for a different reality.I am in a two-year IRS audit. So let’s test-drive this idea: I chose this audit. Hmmm, how might that be true? Well, through this audit (now going on three months), I can say the following:I am learning to accept, embrace and actually be grateful for my imperfections and inadequacies. Through this audit both my accountant and the IRS agent have criticized me. I have been accused and shamed. I have been talked to with an exasperated voice. Until this audit, I did not know I still held somewhere inside of me a sense of inferiority and even shame for being so right-brained and not linear or sequential, for how I am made.I have struggled with my strange and random way of being in the world my entire life. I am not linear. I have no sense of Chronos time, sequential time, or quantitative time. I am very present. I live in qualitative time. I am deeply aware and connected to energy. I have enjoyed the gifts of being primarily right-brained. The right brain makes things whole. It has a great capacity for wonder, awe and depth. It is a holy way to experience the world. But all my life, I have felt somehow defective because I have been so different from people I admire. My favorite story has been The Ugly Duckling, the story of a swan chick raised by ducks and ostracized for his lack of swan-ness. Until one day he sees who he truly is, and he is at home in the world. Stories of exile, like this one, are my story. These stories might be yours too, but for an entirely different reason. Most of us, feel somehow “other” or different than most.This audit took me on the journey of exile, and today I am at home in the world as it is and as I am. I accept both and believe I have chosen to be here and to be here as I am. I am at peace with my unusual self.Where do you need to accept yourself? But not in spite of how you are made, because of how you are made?