Obama & Christie: Out of tragedy, new possibility emerges ... Part 2

Now let's look at the same phenomena on the other side,  President Obama.  Jungians might say that Obama's leadership shadow is exemplified in Governor Christie (and vice versa.)  Obama makes space for others to speak and be seen.  He tries deliberately not to take up space or call the spotlight to himself.  He possibly sees the Christie directive, passionate, emotionally expressive style of leadership as "old school" and not 21st century.  He prefers the servant leadership or the participative leadership model that has been catching on in the last two decades.There have been signs that some other kind of leadership was needed from Obama in addition to his preferred style.  Even his supporters have called him out for being too cerebral, for not wanting to truly fight for what matters.  For not saying directly what he wants, for not taking charge.  Take health care: Obama gave it to the Congress and Senate to work out without clearly saying what he wanted.  Christie would have told them what he wanted.  There are other examples of Obama refusing to find his inner Christie, but my point here is that most of us refuse the call to change ourselves in a new direction,when it is against our "winning formula" or the identity that has got us where we are today, or when we have held our way as better than or superior to other ways.  It is scary to give up what always worked.However, when we are called to change and refuse the call, something (Fate/Life/God) steps into to help us.  Sometimes through adversity or pressure and sometimes through offering us an example of our refused capacities in all their glory!  For Obama, enter Governor Christie dealing with Sandy and for Christi, enter President Obama supporting him and the people of his state.AND so  we get to glimpse another way to lead and to work together through their interaction.  We  saw that Obama had to ensure through his direct actions and calls to Christie that the government he believes in delivered for Christie.  He couldn't sit on the sidelines.  He had to get in the game and direct it when necessary.  He made sure the red tape that everyone hates in bureaucracies didn't get in the way of FEMA delivering the way he knew it could.  We witnessed what a working across the political divide could look like.  Now it is our turn to do the hard work of insisting we get it.To my eye, both men glimpsed their "golden shadow" in the other man in the aftermath of Sandy --the next level of greatness for each of them as a leader if they will take the journey of embracing their opposite style.  An Obama who takes charge and takes up space when necessary.  A Christie who recedes and makes space for others views and leadership or who leads via supporting others leadership.  Neither may know this happened consciously. But their unconscious is probably a little less frightened of being their opposite kind of leader.And so too, you and I.  Ask yourself:  "What it is I am most afraid of becoming?".  Now ask yourself "And where in my life could that way of being actually be useful to me?"   You will discover that "Our deepest fears are like dragons guarding our deepest treasure." Ranier Maria Rilke 

Obama & Christie: Out of tragedy, new possibility emerges ... Part 1

Picture the image of Republican New Jersey Governor Chris Christie standing side by side with Democratic President Barack Obama.  One man man white, one man multiracial.  One man large with a loud and passionate, direct and exuberant presence.  The other slender and known for his cool demeanor, depth of thought and observational qualities. One man (Christie) had previously criticized the other (Obama) in public ("groping for the light switch of leadership in a darkened room).Yet a woman named Sandy, in the form of a hurricane, brought them together and brought out the best in both of them.  AND simultaneously  helped us glimpse a new way forward as a people.  In this post I am going to focus on the inner development of both leaders from my perspective and apply that to each of us and human development.  Let's start with my assumptions/beliefs:

1. People come into your life at a point in time to give you a glimpse (a positive example) of the next level of development available to you, as a person and a leader.  I refer to this as emergence as in, what is emerging/growing in you now?
2. This person/example will stimulate your imagination of what is possible for you next, even if only unconsciously.
3. If  you recognize this opportunity and move with it, you experience the wind at your back.
4. If you resist it, you experience  struggle and suffering.

Back to Christie and Obama.  Obama's humble and thoughtful, counselor approach is a model of servant leadership (which is why his staff will walk on hot coals for him).  But it would look like a failure of leadership to Christie.  Christie's approach is almost always big, powerful and charismatic.  We only see Obama do that through oratory.  Christie's ego/strategic mind would tell him no one will follow him if he risks growing the opposite characteristics in his leadership (the Obama style) thus keeping him from going to his next level of greatness.   Can you imagine how extraordinary Christie can be as a leader--maybe our President one day--with the ability to tap both capacities?  To be at choice for when to directly and powerfully call for what is needed for the people---and when to recede, observe and serve?

Part 2 highlights Obama's frontier and then connects this to all of us...

Vote your desires not your fears.

What happens if we each tried actually trusting that whatever happens we will all move forward?  What happens if we vote based on our deepest desires not our fears?  That won't be easy as both campaigns have painted their opponents winning the presidency as a fearful thing.  But because the adds did/do that doesn't mean you and I have to.  So if you haven't voted yet, I invite you to get quiet and locate your primary values.  Make a list of your top 5.  Mine looks like this:

1. Inclusion ... no one left our or behind.
2. Dignity of meaningful worthwhile work.
3. Empathy/compassion but more for how it helps the giver.  Without compassion, I seem to be filled with fear.
4. Passion/wholeheartedness/Desire
5. Creativity/innovation/discovery/originality

Not sure that they are in order.  Whatever your list, take the time to locate your top values and then look at both candidates for President and all the candidates running for office and ask yourself this question:Whose life best demonstrates my top values?  And whose life has best demonstrated these values over his/her lifetime?Your choices will not only be clear, but you will have owned your choices in a different way.  Neither Obama or Romney are perfect men or leaders.  Far from it, no human is perfect.  Now you won't expect them to "do what you want or what you would do if you were in their shoes". And when we focus on leadership in that way, we can't help but focus on problems and end up feeling disappointed and even anxious.  Instead why not focus on how they are living the values that their lives have already demonstrated and that you value.  That question takes you out of critical right/wrong thinking.  It takes you out of Problem Focus and puts you in TED where TED stands for The Empowerment Dynamic.  AND that my friends makes all the difference in the quality of your life.By the way, this doesn't mean you never recognize mistakes nor does it make you Pollyanna.  Leaders are human.  They aren't always true to their values.  But it is easier to call someone to their greatness when they go afield of it, by singing the song that lives in their hearts (values) than it is by criticism.  By the way, this works really well with oneself!  :lol:So today truly celebrate what this great country makes possible...the right to vote based on our unique values.  To stand for what matters to you.  And remember, you can stand FOR something without having to be AGAINST anything or anyone!    

Tina Fey would love this.

“Form the habit of saying, “Yes” to a good idea.  Then list all the reasons why it will work.  There will always be plenty of people to tell you why it won’t work.”  Gil AtkinsonTina Fey, in her book Bossy Pants tells us that the rules of improvisation will change our lives and the very first rule is "Say Yes."  And the second rule is not only to "Say Yes." but to say "Yes, And."So, Gil Atkinson and Tina Fey agree and so do I.  But I suggest we take it even further.  I suggest we don't just “Form the habit of saying “Yes” to a good idea", I think we should say "Yes" to a new idea whether it is good or not.   Actually any new idea, even if just for 5 minutes,especially the weird ones.  And then I suggest we  list all the reasons why it will work or why it is useful.  Find at least 13 reasons.  Why?  Because then when people give you all the reasons why it won’t work you can ask them, “Given your concerns about this idea, how could your concerns improve the idea?”Why go to this trouble and spend the time?  Especially if your first reaction to the new idea is that it is dumb or it won't work?   Because innovation and creativity hide in the darndest places!  And by saying "yes" (and Tina Fey, would love this), you are actually allowing wonder and creativity to find you.  So even, if you end up walking away from it 5 minutes later, you will have just spent 5 minutes in that wonderful space called an "eternal moment".  That place where time stands still or feels like it expands.  Because that is how creativity, discovery and wonder feel.  I don't know about you, but 5 minutes of that will give me enough energy to burn through hours of challenging or boring stuff.Let’s test the idea with a work example:You are finishing a proposal for an important client and your assistant, says “Gee, I wonder if we should have gone for a more unusual approach to this?  I get we have demonstrated how we have done this a thousand times but what if what this company wants/needs now is something that is fresh, new and alive?”  So, instead of going ”What the heck…why would she bring this up now, what if you took a deep breath and asked yourself:  Given we don’t have time to redo this how could her concern be an ally to the project and not enemy?  How is what she just said actually useful to our efforts?”  And then the thought comes to you to include in the letter with the proposal, that you based your proposal on the assumption that what was most important to them was someone with lots of experience.  AND if that isn’t true, and what they want is someone who can generate approaches that are fresh, new, and alive then you will be happy to resubmit the proposal, demonstrating equally well that you are a great fit for their organization!  You follow this with a quick story of a client you have done exactly this work for and how pleased they were with the work and how the work helped impact their bottom line.So maybe you are beginning to be persuaded to give this idea a go, but are wondering if  13 ways this weird idea can be useful are really necessary.  Why not 1 or 5 or 7?

1. Because your linear processor (also known as strategic mind or left brain), will be quick to tell you to get rid of the new idea and guess what?  Turns out that part of you is good at executing but it is LOUSY at creating or innovating!  So the list of 13 ways the idea could be useful, is a practice that helps you move from certainty (This is stupid) to curiosity and openness.  And only from that place can you adequately evaluate whether to pursue it or not.
2. David Whyte wrote in the poem, Everything Is Waiting For You, that  “It is your great mistake to act the drama as if you were alone.”  He tells us that there is unlimited invisible help  to assist us. But if I am are convinced I need no help how will it get myattention?  So, the 13 ways list helps me open to all the invisible help (or fresh new ideas) and guidance that is there for me.  If your beliefs tell you that there is only you and your are on your own in life,  then the practice helps you open to your own intuitive brain, your right side.
3. This kind of thinking and openness is what design thinking is all about.  Design thinking is critically important in complex times and when dealing with challenging situations because it helps you engage potential setbacks with boldness, enthusiasm and faith that there are great solutions waiting in the wings to emerge if you can just find the right questions to ask.  (Design thinking assumes there are unlimited great ideas.)

If you need more reasons call me!  All I really want you, the reader to get, is that YOU ARE NOT ALONE…unless you want to be!